Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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