he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
