he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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