i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
