Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
