I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
40s are totally the cure
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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