I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
