Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
