btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
