So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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