Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
