haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
