How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I came so hard my ears popped.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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