my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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