I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
