i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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