Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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