I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
my liver is dry heaving
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
