You're my little dorito
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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