He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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