I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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