you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
