I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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