I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
