I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
