Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
