I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
