It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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