omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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