Don't you send me to vm
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
