you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
