you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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