Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
