Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need to sanitize my soul.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
