How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
