well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
