I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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