sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
