And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Jerry, you need to find god
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize