I am spending my child support on dildos
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
