i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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