The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
