Cold hands, warm shart.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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