i don't like sucking hair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
