Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
