everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
