Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize