You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
