You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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