i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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