I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize