Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
