i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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