she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
