doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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