she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
